November 13, 2004
I believe today is the worst day of my life (so far). Also today is the first time I realize my own emotions can be so strong, I never knew that before. I just feel the need to spit it out, so pls bear w/ me here. I haven't cried for so long that I don't even remember when was the last time I cried. Today is a very emotional day. I was scared, worried, and terrified at the beginning. I kept telling myself this is not happening(guess that didn't help). I don't know what I could do to make it better, I so wanted to help but then it was too late. Everything happened so quick all I could do was try to hold myself together w/ my best effort. The last thing a person needs when he/she is in a situation like this is stepped on by other ppl. I serious don't know what kind of person can be so heartless and yet thats the person "suppose" to be closest to me. Again, ironically funny. I just couldn't control myself when I see it in front of my eyes or when I think about it. I feel so empty all of a sudden, like a part of me is gone. My tears just keep running out w/o control, I tried so hard to hold it, I really did.